Guardian
by Miwa-Miwa GreenLeeLeaf
Summary: (2K12 Season 2/3 spoilers) Raph has to take a role he isn't ready for during the time that Leo is "out of commission" and Splinter is "gone". Not rated T for any sexuality or swearing but rather topics I plan to cover that may not be fully understood by younger readers.
1. Day 1 and 2

A/N+Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT, this is for fun, no prophet. The series belongs to whomever owns the at this period in time and at later periods in time. This is the only disclaimer that will be seen for I refuse to be one of those people who does it every chapter, and has it be so long that half of the word count in the story is purely the author having "conversations" with OOC versions of the characters. There will be A/N's though.

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><p>"We can stay for as long as we want. No one is around for miles." April said as she gave the only option the world allow us. There was hope in those words. A bittersweet kind of hope, but hope nonetheless. Mikey scooted over, firmly planting himself as close to me as possible. Instinctually I slung my arm around him as he curled into a fetal position.<p>

Looking at the broken form of Leo the kid asked, "What's gonna happen now, Raph?"

Angry at myself I looked towards the roof of the unfortunately named "party wagon". For a second I searched for an answer. The kind that would make everyone cheer up. But that wasn't my job. That was Mikey's job, and when Mikey couldn't do it the job became Leo's or Splinter's.

Mikey was clearly… understandably taking a sick day since he was the one to ask. Then of course Leo and Splinter were… they were…

Deciding to go with honesty, the way I always do, I admitted something awful, "For the first time in my life I've no idea, little brother."

I hung my head in shame as I felt Mikey sink against me. As we drove on to a highway he said so quietly that no one but myself could hear, "I miss Master Splinter…"

If the old van had counted as it's own planet that would have been a universal truth. Opening my eyes I looked down at Mikey. I couldn't see his face as he had buried it within his arms. Tightening my grip around him protectively I looked over at Donnie, but he didn't look back.

His eyes were glazed over as he stared lifelessly at Leo. Guilt. The guilt in his expression was the only thing that indicated he was alive. Not wanting to look at him any longer I looked towards the driver's seat. Casey was driving, and April was resting against him like Mikey was to me. Deciding that I didn't want to see any of this I looked upwards again, sending my sight as far away from Leo as I could. Slowly sleep overtook both Don and Mikey, and eventually soft snoring told me that April had joined them.

I'm not sure how long it takes for someone to get from NYC to upstate New York, but I had a feeling it took us longer than it would have just a day before. When we first got into the traffic jam Casey had started speaking, somehow knowing I was still awake.

"One or two of the cars in front of us has some nasty scorch marks."

Upon looking into the rear view mirror he said, "The guy behind us doesn't look like he even has roof anymore."

By now I was watching him and noticed how his head tilted slightly, as if trying to make it less obvious he was looking at the car beside us, "This car doesn't look to damaged. But there's definitely way more than the safe amount of people. Even the driver has someone in his lap."

Had the others not been asleep he'd have probably yelled the last part. Eventually I heard the sound of wheels spinning. It wasn't like how it sounded when speeders were going through the city. It was a sound that reminded me of when the sewers would turn from a silent stream of human filth and into a torrent of traumatizing human excrements. As the sound got closer and closer I heard something splatter against the thin metal walls of the van.

"Either really smart, or really stupid.", I reasoned as the vehicle slowly passed us on it's off road trek. Casey nodded, but then he gasped.

"Dude, there were like, twenty people in the back of that truck!"

For a moment I tried to imagine what that looked like. I had only seen a truck once or twice in my life, turns out they're not too popular in the city. However, I was capable of seeing people literally piled atop each other, like a trash heap. They were probably clinging to one another, trying to prevent anyone from falling out. I was taken away from my depressing imagination when I heard Donnie stir. Rubbing his eyes he looked around for a moment. Seemingly forgetting where he was he tried to stand. Quickly I grabbed his discarded staff and pushed it against his plastron, preventing him from getting further than a crouch. The absolute last thing we needed was to freak out any humans. He blinked again, finally realizing where he was. He sunk back to the ground, legs now in a jumbled mess rather than the lotus position he had managed when he fell asleep.

"Has Leo…?", he asked with half lidded eyes.

"No." It was a double answer. "No, Leo didn't get any worse." and "No, he hasn't gotten any better."

Donnie nodded glumly, disappointed and relieved at the same time. He looked back up to me for a moment, "Can I?"

"I'm fine keeping watch." He smiled gratefully at me before dozing off again. As if in sync with Donnie, Mikey's form started sink again. This time the kid ended up at what I could only imagine was an awkward angle. Silently I adjusted my youngest brother so he was laying his head on my lap.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have lost my cool like that, but those peo-", I didn't let Casey finish.

"Were they different?"

"Huh?"

"The people in the truck. Were they different?"

Understanding my meaning he nodded, "None of them looked like they could be related…"

"Refugees.", I reasoned. Some humans actually got out of the city.

"Yup. Funny how silver linings work, huh?"

Bittersweet hope, but hope nonetheless, I reminded myself. The rest of the trip was silent, minus Casey waking April up after we'd gotten out of the freeway, and her subsequent directions. We didn't get there until the next morning. Donnie explained that we had to get Leo into a body of water. The three of us carried our oldest brother up the creaky, abused from lack of use stairs, as April lead us to the bathroom. After she filled the tub we carefully lowered Leo into the water, making sure his head stayed above water. All five of us stayed vigil that day.

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><p>AN: This whole thing was inspired due to Raph's extreme, if somewhat subtle, personality and role change between the seasons. While I understand the writer's not wanting to do a whole season with a comatose Leo in a tub I feel like it was a missed plot that could have been _very_ interesting in terms of character development.


	2. Day 3

The third day started like the second. We all sat there, watching, waiting. One of us would occasionally rub the sponge over Leo's face so it would stay hydrated. The day changed when a growling noise sounded off. I looked down at Mikey whom had positioned himself on the floor next to the stool I sat on. He scrunched his face up, trying to ignore what just happened. However, his stomach gurgled again. This time he put his hands over his stomach as he inhaled sharply and then exhaled as if he were in pain. He probably was, as was Donnie I was sure. My brothers and I hadn't eaten since the morning The Invasion had happened. I clenched my fist at the memories. I wanted to punch something, but I didn't. Mikey would undoubtedly take it the wrong way if I punched a hole into the wall, he'd think he's in trouble.

April, whom like everyone else, had heard Mikey's stomach. Getting up from her spot by the sink she walked over to Mikey. Reaching down she tugged the kid's arm gently until he stood up, and guided him to where there was _hopefully_ food in the house. I listened to the floor creek with each of their steps. Eventually I heard rummaging, and what sounded like a few cans fall to the floor. Donnie and Casey had heard the noise as well, and even though I wasn't looking at them I knew the awkward looks they must have been giving each other.

"Go, I'll watch Leo."

Before leaving they both said their thanks. Almost as soon as they left my own stomach growled painfully. Hissing I clenched my teeth, refusing to show weakness. It wasn't like I was literally starving. That means I had to suck it up. I scooted closer to Leo so I could rest my arms on the edge of the old tub. I took a long look at brother and grimaced upon realizing how frail he was. Absentmindedly I dipped my fingers into the water to check. It didn't feel too cold, so we wouldn't have to change it soon.

I heard the pad of feet creep up the steps. Following it was the creek of the door as April walked in. Silently she put something in my hands, and forcefully moved my fingers so that they would grip it tighter. Without a word she left. Once she was gone I looked at the object, an open can of peaches with a spoon sitting patiently inside of it.

I glared at it as if it was my enemy. It was the only thing I could do, I had nothing to punch. Nothing to relieve my anger and sorrow on. Eventually I did eat, accidentally bending to spoon beyond recognition as I did so. Soon the others came back, Casey and Donnie taking their old positions. April however took up Mikey's spot while the kid himself chose to look out the window. April noticed the spoon, I could tell, yet she didn't say anything as she rested her head on my leg.

Eventually everyone but myself had fallen asleep, all stretched out on the cold floor. Quietly I stepped out, looking for the bedrooms. It seemed there were three in the small house all together. Swiftly I returned to the bathroom, picking April up first. I carried her to the room with the second largest bed, a "queen size" I think humans call them. I quickly went and moved Mikey and Donnie to the room with a "king sized" bed. Mikey had been easy the carry, but hard to actually get on the bed as he insisted on clinging to my shell while he dreamed. After peeling him off I had gone back for Donnie. He was much harder due to his height. Being a few heads taller than me carrying him would usually be out of the question. But I did so anyway. What it had ended up was similar to the way I had piggybacked Mikey, but Donnie's long lanky legs dragged across the floor as I took him to the room I had stashed the kid. Finally I grabbed Casey, carried him to room on the first floor and threw him unceremoniously onto the single person bed. Almost immediately he began to drool on the dusty pillow.

I returned to my place on the stool, continuing my silent vigil.


	3. Day 4

April had convinced me to go outside today, said Donnie would watch Leo. I didn't want to, still wished I didn't. Someone...me, I had to watch Leo. That was my responsibility as the second oldest. Leo was my responsibility now. Yet somehow I was out here, sitting on this weird bench that was pretending to be a swing. Seriously, what was this thing, and why did girlie insist on rocking it?

Finally she spoke, "So, I was thinking… should we keep working on our training?"

Looking sideways at her I nodded, "Probably." In all honesty training sounded good right now, I'd be able to punch something, relieve these wound up nerves before I snapped.

"Hmmm, we could tie the old oat sack in the farm to that tree over there. You know, like a punching bag." I nodded in agreement, a punching bag would definitely help.

"And we could use the trees as aiming practice," she said absentmindedly. "Other than that we'll just have to spar with each other."

I wasn't really paying attention now. Paranoia caused me to analyse everything about my surroundings. The first thing I examined was the house. Despite my refusal to leave Leo's side I knew everything about the inside of the house. Two bedrooms upstairs, divided by the bathroom. The kitchen, living room, and a third bedroom stood within the first floor. Judging by the faint echo that could be heard when walking on the first floor, something that neither Casey or April had likely noticed, there was a basement. This was the first time I had really seen the outside of the house though.

It was old, that's for certain. The steps that led onto the porch we coming loose. Several areas of the roof's shingles looked like they were falling apart. The paint of the house was peeling off in multiple places. You could even see the patches of light colored wood it was suppose to cover. I couldn't help but wonder how long it had been since April's family had gone here. The next thing I analysed was the woods. April had said that there was no one around for miles, but that didn't mean people wouldn't be entering the woods, or potentially take a wrong turn down the dirt road that I knew lead to this place. I'd have to make perimeter rounds before Mikey inevitably got themselves into trouble from wandering. Lastly I looked at the old, decayed farm house. It didn't take more than two seconds to decide that no one would be allowed inside it. The thing looked like it would collapse at any moment.

"You've barely spoken since we got here," she unhelpfully pointed out.

"Gee, I wonder why?" I snapped back. In the past April would have been the least likely person to cause me to lash out, but now I was so high strung I couldn't help but push her away.

She had flinched back when I said it. Then she looked down at her balled up fists for a few seconds, and then she took a deep breath. Determination spread across her face. Carefully she put her hand atop my shoulder. I tried to move away from it but she held on tight. Then she asked me the most horribly thought out thing in the world…

"How are you holding up?"

Voice rising I said, "Out of all the people in the world you should already understand without asking!"

After all, how many times has she lost her father. Once to kidnapping, once to a failed rescue mission, once to mind control, and now twice to mutation. Five times she had lost her own father and she still had the audacity to ask me how I was "holding up" after losing my own. I kept my glare strong as she cycled through emotions within the span of a few seconds. First it was wide-eyed shock, then a glare to match my own, next a look of someone who just had their heart broken, and finally a look of understanding. Tenderly she moved her arms around my neck and buried her face into my neck. I could feel all my pent up nerves leave my body for the moment.

"I miss my dad… and Splinter too," April sobbed. Without thinking I felt my arms snake around her waist, bringing her into an awkward sideways hug, my head resting on hers. While hugs wounded my pride, they seemed to be cathartic all things considered. After a few minutes she loosened her grip and looked at me.

"You wanna watch some TV or something?"

I nodded, my brain no longer filled with paranoia, pain, anger, and guiltily enough, a lack of Leo. She grasped my open hand as we walked back to the house, unintentionally making herself seem younger than she really was. Instinctually we took the positions we had become accustomed to after hours of watching TV and reading comics in the lair. Laid flat on our backs, our heads barely touching, and our feet dangling off of the armrests. Grabbing the remote she flipped through the channels until she came across something delightfully brain numbing. After a few shows my eyes grew heavy, and my vision blurred, and I fell asleep for the first time since we left New York.

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><p>AN Wow! People over various websites seem to actually like this judging by the favs/follows/kudos, and I only started this story a day or two ago. Yay! However I would love reviews in order to see feedback. I like knowing what you like about my stories! Also I just found out that I've been (partially) using commas wrong when it came to quotations. Eh, the whole reason I started writing fanfics was to become better so my in-progress graphic novel would be half-way decent so I welcome the discovery. Of course my borderline OCD will probably cause me to go on a mass editing spree on previous chapters and ALL of my previous stories. Oh, well...


	4. Day 5

Groaning I rubbed my eyes before I gave the blurred shadows the best scowl I could manage. Keyword, manage. I knew that it must not have been as fierce or intimidating as it would have been had I felt more awake. The shadows stood just outside the door, all huddled together. I blinked and tried to concentrate, and my eyes were met with one shadow's upper half being blurred with a familiar yellow.

"Dude, how'd you do that," screeched a voice, the one that had woken me no doubt. "Donnie and I weren't able to get him to sleep a peep!"

A smacking sound soon followed, along with someone else speaking in a hissing whisper, "Mikey, you sewer apples for brains. Are you trying to wake him up?"

The short shadow, Mikey, looked up at the much taller one, Donnie, looking like he was about to pounce on the tall one. I wondered briefly if I'd have to leave the warmth that surrounded me to keep them from throwing fists. Usually a little fisticuffs weren't bad, but usually it was during training, or just simple rough housing. Not anymore. I was probably wound up the tightest but it was still obvious everyone was on edge. Could you blame us. As this realization sunk in I started to move a little. Sliding my arm between myself and the mattress I mysteriously found myself on, trying to ready myself in case I did have to stop them. Luckily the half yellow blur, April, spoke up.

"Would you both knock it off," she said as softly as her angry voice would let her. "If Mikey didn't wake him up already your guys' arguing will."

As both voices said "Sorry" I realized they were talking about me. This made my anger flare a little. What exactly did they have to talk about that they could only do so while I was asleep. Deciding the bed was too comfortable, and that they'd probably stop their secret little conversation if they knew I was already awake, I stayed still. Donnie turned a slightly, so that he was looking a little more in April's direction.

"...but, how did you get him to fall asleep?"

April shrugged, "We just talked for awhile, and then we started to watch TV. I was about to fall asleep myself when I noticed."

She leaned to her side, looking into the room I was "sleeping" in and asked, "Did he sleep alright?"

With what I was sure was a huge smile on his face Mikey said, "Like a bug in a rug."

Scratching his head Donnie whispered, "Definitely a good thing. I don't think he's slept at all since we got here."

April nodded, "He's barely been eating or drinking… All he's been doing is watching over Leo."

Leo? Leo. Leo! Remembering my comatose brother I shot up and flung the cover off of myself. All the fogginess was gone, replaced with the sharp vision I was accustomed to. This caused all three of them to jump in surprise. I was off the bed and headed to the door before they even realized what was happening. By the time I had pushed past them only Mikey, ever the fast one, was aware of what was happening around him. Quickly the kid grabbed me by my arm with both hands in an attempt to stop me. I tried to yank my arm out of his grip but he wouldn't let go. Mikey nearly fell to his knees when I attempted to throw him off with a growl.

"Let. Go."

He shook his head in response as he tightened his grip, "Leo… He's fine, Casey is watchin' him right now. Let's just relax for a bit. You and me?"

This time I was the one shaking my head, and gave him a shove. He hit the wall shell first. He wasn't injured in the least, but he still gave me that hurt expression and I ended up swallowing a lump in my throat. Before I could blink Donnie was next to him. Examining him for any injuries, which just spoke of how paranoid my gap toothed brother had become because I really didn't push Mikey that hard. I opened my mouth unsure of what I even wanted to say. Before I could decide I felt an open palm slap me across my face.

"What is wrong with you!? We're just trying to help you," April screamed in a fit of fury.

"Help? Me? I'm not the one that needs help, Leo is!"

By now Casey had come out of the bathroom, "What's with all the noise?"

"Where're ya going, Raph?" He asked as I pushed past him and walked down the stairs.

I slammed the door behind me as I stormed outside. I hopped off of the porch and looked up at the sky. Looked up towards the western stationed sun. It was the afternoon, two at the least. This served to make me angrier. All four of my housemates looked well rested, which meant not a single one of them had been watching Leo. At least not until they had carried me to Don and Mike's room. I clenched my fists together as I thought about their backwards logic. So they weren't going to watch over Leo, but they were also going to refuse me the responsibility I had loyally taken up. I heard yelling inside the house. Anger from April, confusion from Casey, and something else from my baby brothers. Breathing in deeply I took off towards the woods.

Upon entering the forest I had been full with the intention of a perimeter check. However, when I stopped running and actually looked around I felt like I had just jumped down Alice's rabbit hole. Except there wasn't a white rabbit to follow, just my own instincts. Said instincts were rather all over the place. First was my attempt to get used to the ground. Sure I had been in the city park before but never for long. Never long enough to become aware of how weird grass, dirt, moss, twigs, and mud felt under my feet when compared to the sturdy asphalt and cement I was accustomed to. The ground under my feet shifted as I moved, not nearly as stable as the grounds and roofs I was used to. Yet, it felt nice.

Snapping out of my stupor I began to run again. Hopping over fallen logs and just barely not tripping over the roots of the many trees. It was clear that I'd have to get used to this terrain, but not today. I leaped up and grabbed a branch of a tall tree and pulled myself up. Then I looked for another safe looking branch and launched myself towards my chosen purch. I continued this, doing an entire perimeter around the property. For the most part I stayed near the edge of the forest. Inside enough so that I was concealed from the eyes of possible humans, but near enough so that I could see the world just outside the wall of trees. I discovered there were many roads, but most of them didn't lead towards the farm. In fact it appeared that you'd have to have the specific want to find the old withered building if you even hoped to get to it, which many people I understood wouldn't want to do. Just outside the edge of the property I discovered a few close together houses, but it seemed as if they were in an entirely different world than my family's hideout. This helped me leave the little human dens without paranoia nipping at my tail.

I almost fell from my perch when a raindrop hit me square between the eyes. It's not that I wasn't used to patrolling in the rain, it's just that I had been so absorbed in my new surrounding that I utterly failed to notice the storm clouds. Still, the raindrop peaked my curiosity. I made it to the top of the tree just as a light blanket of rain started covering the forest. As I looked down I realized that the farmhouse must have been on a large hill, because there laid a town in the middle of the bowl like structure the forest naturally made. Compared to the city it was small, but I couldn't help but get the feeling that the town itself could be considered large. In the distance I could see a small dump site. A place to go scavenging once things got more desperate. Which they would. Finally I decided to head back, and everything was fine. That is until my foot slipped and I was sent hurtling towards the ground. My ride didn't stop there as I tumbled down a ditch, hitting hidden boulders as I went.

When I opened my eyes it was not because of the pouring rain, but something sniffing my face. I jumped up ready to strike… only to see a fox pup running behind it's father. If I had been anyone else the adult would have likely attacked me. However it was me, and despite my lack of knowledge on the creatures of the world I liked them, and in return they liked me. Was it weird? Yes. But that was just how things always worked with me and animals. We understood each other on some level. It was why I was able to keep regular rats and mice out of the lair. It was why I could get junkyard dogs to stop chasing my brothers during scavenging trips. It was why I could use one pigeon to summon a whole flock to block security cameras. But most of all it was part of the reason I was so close to Spike.

Thinking about Spike, no, Slash made my stomach turn. Last time I saw him his confused mind seemed to finally understand that killing my family wouldn't make me "stronger", and I had felt oh-so-close to getting him to rejoin the family itself. But then the invasion happened, and he was still in the city. He was probably laying dead in a street somewhere. Feeling like I was about to vomit from the mere thought of it I wished, for the first time ever, that I was back at the farmhouse. The father fox answered my prayers with a yip before grabbing it's pup by the scruff of her little neck. Swiftly the fox ran upwards, and out of the ditch. It sat there, waiting for me to follow. Standing to my shaking feet I began my climb out of the ditch. Once I reached the top the fox ran off again, giving me no reprieve. So I chased it on the ground of the forest floor. Maneuvering under low limbs, jumping over fallen trees, and thankfully enough didn't trip on any roots as the father fox led me through the pouring rain. The small creature skidded to a stop, and just outside the line of the trees I could see the farmhouse. Before leaving the fox I looked at it, and it looked back up at me. Then in a blink of an eye it, and it's pup, were gone.

I had walked silently into the house, hoping no one would hear, let alone see me. Unfortunately the rain wasn't so silent and it alerted my brothers of my presence the second I opened the door. Quickly they ran to me, and upon seeing my bruises and cuts Donnie dragged me into the kitchen. He grabbed an emergency first aid kit out of a cupboard, and returned to examine me. I wasn't sure where exactly such a thing had come from, but in all honesty I didn't care. I was more focused on my baby brothers. Donnie was wiping my cuts with some kind of disinfectant, but he didn't have the same expression he usually had when he treated us. It was full of outside topic thought, and tiredness. Deciding there wasn't anything I could do I looked over at Mikey.

He was mindlessly doodling on a piece of paper, avoiding eye contact. I looked at the kitchen table and noticed all the colored pencils, crayons, and already drawn on papers. Briefly I remembered a conversation I had with April during her second week she knew us. She had told me her father use to be an artist. This and the fact that her family came to this old building when she was young made the existence of such materials understandable. Yet, like the first aid kit before the drawing supplies, I didn't particularly care about those either. Moving my hand I slid one of the images closer to myself. Looking at it I realized it was a picture of Leo and Splinter. It wasn't perfect, but what was happening in the picture was clear. They were meditating.

With a smile I asked, "Did you draw these, Mikey?"

Slowly and unsure he looked up at me with big eyes. Then nodded. I did my best to chuckle as I said, "They're pretty good. If ya find some tape I'll help ya put them up in your's and Donnie's room."

This caused a big smile to cross his face, and a hurricane spontaneously appeared as he searched the kitchen for tape. I could see Donnie smile a little bit. Soon he was done bandaging me up. Briefly he checked my head, probably to see if any damage had been done. Given how short of an examination it was and his lack of words I was left to assume everything else checked out fine. Soon Mikey stood in front of me with a roll of duct tape as he bounced on his feet excitedly. After that I found myself in my brothers' room. Donnie had readily flopped onto the bed and was sleeping in a matter of seconds. I sat with Mikey on the floor as we took several minutes tapping his pictures to the wall. When we were done I got up, but he grabbed me by the knee pad.

"Wait!"

"Hmm?"

"Can you stay tonight, bro?"

Quirking an eyebrow I asked, "And why do I need to do that?" He looked down for a moment with an embarrassed expression. "Well?"

He looked back up at me, then to the side before he said, "I keep having nightmares…"

"Okay," I sighed, and before I knew it I was laying down between my two sleeping brothers. I was trying my hardest to stay awake to protect them from all the things that go bump in the night, but eventually I too drifted off.

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><p>AN: I wanted to do a few things with Raph in this chapter. First off, I wanted to make it clear that his role as the "guardian" would be a progressive but somewhat slow development.

Two, I wanted to work with the two sides of him. The one that's all like, "Leave me alone I'm such a lone wolf" and the other that's like "I care but I won't say it." Not sure if I portrayed that correctly. (It would be good to get feedback on that particular subject.)

Thirdly, his abilities with animals. It's such a small character trait and underused at that but I always found it interesting. I know I'm not the only one who's noticed it since his part on the Hamato Clan character page (On TV Tropes) listed him under "beastmaster." Speaking of animals the fox was originally going to be a pheasant that he was simply going to run into, and play with while he calmed down, but it felt kinda OOC. So I changed it to a fox leading him home for some symbolism, and as a reference to another character in the franchise.

Lastly, just him being in the woods. "A Foot Too Big" made it seem like he understood the woods better than his brothers. So I decided to play with that a bit.

Also I love writing April and Raph getting all snippy with each other, only to be fine a moment later. I know I hadn't got to the whole make up bit in this chapter but still, it's fun writing these two under extreme stress. Good lord, that makes me sound like an awful person. XD


	5. Day 6

A/N: So am I the only one who wondered about the whole bathroom situation or…

As a sidenote I was laughing hysterically when I saw Mikey decorating the Pizzeria with his pictures. I predicted the future!

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><p>I woke up earlier than my brothers, much earlier. It wasn't because I was fully rested. It was because Mikey was squeezing the life out of me. Struggling I put my hand between him and myself and pushed. When this didn't work I moved my hand so that my palm was on his face and gave a sturdy shove. While I didn't intend to push him off of the bed, that was what happened. Looking down at him I blinked as he continued to snore. Then I looked at Donnie who was doing the same.<p>

Quietly I got off the bed, and not so quietly threw Mikey back on. Then made a beeline for the bathroom. For the first few seconds after opening the door I watched Casey's head bob up and down as he struggled to stay awake. Every second after that was an unwinnable war against bad body odor. My face scrunched in disgust as my hands raced to cover my nostrils. I started making gagging sounds, which depending on the point of view may have admittedly been an over reaction. Whatever point of view you have you couldn't deny that Casey Jones smelled like a pile of fish that has been dead for six days and laying out in the sun for at least half that time. Wait, six days…

Practically jumping off the stool as I gagged Casey tried to see what was wrong, only to be stopped by me waving one hand fanatically in the air, "Stay. Back."

"What's wrong man?"

In a muffled voice I confirmed the obvious, "You stink… badly."

As if not believing me he lifted his arm up and sniffed the pit of it. The way his face recoiled in disgust almost made me laugh. Briefly I wondered if this meant April smelled bad. I couldn't really see it. She always smelled like all those girly soaps humans were accustomed to. Whether or not that was the case now didn't matter. What did matter was fixing this hygiene problem before my nose burned off. Using the toilet was one thing, simple really. If someone had to take a leak, or go number two, whoever was in here watching Leo would give them a minute or two of privacy. Then they would leave the room and whoever was on watch, usually (should always be) me, would continue onwards. However, we needed the tub for Leo. He needed to stay hydrated, and his body needed to stay still. Moving him was out of the question.

Incredulously he said, "Well you probably don't smell too great yourself bro!"

I shrugged, honestly not knowing if the accusation was true. I don't think us mutant turtles really needed as many showers as a human would. We could spar together for hours and feel fine. Whereas it only ever took thirty minutes or of training, or less, for Casey or April to start breaking a sweat. Before I really had time to retort Casey's earlier statement I heard footsteps. Then I heard a yawn that was clearly not my brothers, and froze.

April cracked the door open and asked drearily, "What's going on in here?"

Then our eyes connected and I wished I had a smoke bomb. I hadn't seen her since our argument the day before. When she slapped me. An open palmed slap that had actually really stun. The part of me that was still angry was close to returning the favor, while the part that had been caged in the back of my mind since we left the city wanted to congratulate her. It was a difficult dilemma. I could tell she was going through her own dilemma, but just what it was is a mystery to me. Casey inhaled sharply through his gaped teeth, making a hissing noise. It was clear that he felt just as awkward as April and I did.

"So, Red. We should figure out this shower situation."

"Huh?"

"Well, I don't know about you but according to Raph I smell like a dumbstruck."

She blinked, then she looked down at her dirty clothes for a second. She and Casey had both been wearing the same pair of clothes for almost a week. As a mutant who hadn't been a human before mutation I didn't understand why humans were so obsessed with clothes and keeping them clean. I had gone into April's home once. A freak snowstorm had hit the city during one of my solo outings and she and Kirby had let me stay after I had rather dramatically ran in through one of their windows. After all,

Snow + Turtles = Easy Hypothermia.

Anyway, when I went to the bathroom I was surprised by the sheer amount of clothing that had currently lived in their laundry bin. I had never seen either of them wear any of those clothes now that I think about it. Even if they felt the need to clean every piece after one use, why not just have seven sets? One for each day of the weak. Simple, no messes.

April's question brought me back to reality, "So, what exactly do we do about it?"

I just shrugged, and walked past her. It was their problem, not mine. I made my way back to my brothers' room and shook them both awake. Donnie reluctantly pushed himself off of the bed and to the floor. Mikey whined and kicked at me, in retaliation I grabbed him by the foot and pulled. Rebelliously he clutched the bed sheets, bringing them down with him.

"Raph," he whined from the ground as Donnie clumsy stood up.

Donnie and I left him there, leaving the kid to his own devices. Donnie walked down the steps of the stairs uneasily, tripping every so often. He made his way to the TV and turned it on. It was staticy, probably a side effect from the storm the previous day. He grunted in discontent as he began tinkering with the old thing. As he did so Mikey finally made his way down the steps, clearly offended that we left him on the floor.

He sat at the table, slamming his head against it. Deciding to take initiative I searched through the cabinets. Most of them were empty, and one even had a large spider web in it. I almost gagged at the sight of it. Clearly there was more than the whole bathing thing that needed to be worked out. Eventually I found some canned food in one of the lower cabinets.

There were two cans of tuna, one can of oranges, another can of peaches, and the last one was a can of deviled ham. That's all we had left. Quickly I opened the fridge hoping to find something, only for emptiness to greet me. I then looked in the freezer, only for Ice Cream Kitty to greet me. I pulled the mutated cat out, bowl and all, and set her next to Mikey. The kid looked up at her with a smile.

I took a few of the spoons that had been discarded in the sink and cleaned them. After that I gathered the cans with the intent of passing them around. I gave Mikey the can of oranges and a spoon. He numbly tried to pull at the tab, failing to open it. I set the other cans down, took the oranges back, tour off the lid, and handed them back to Mikey. Picking up the canned food again I walked over to Donnie, who was still busy trying to fix the TV.

When I set a can of tuna down next to Donnie he looked up towards me, "Is there still enough food for everyone?"

"Yes," I said quickly in an attempt to avoid the inevitable. Clearly I failed when he grabbed me by the belt.

"Everyone, and you?"

I looked down at him for a few seconds before giving him a simple, "No."

I shrugged his hand off and made my way upstairs. I walked into the bathroom to find Casey and April still discussing their little problem. Waving the cans uninthusiacticly I captured their attention. I handed Casey the second can of tuna and a spoon. He happily left to go eat with the others. I turned to April and held out the peaches and another spoon for her. Shyly she took it. However, she didn't move to leave.

I walked over to my stool and brought it closer to Leo's head. I opened up the can of deviled ham and looked at the meat for a moment. When we had first fed Leo I had almost refused to feed him Tuna, worried that it had gone bad. However, Donnie explained that canned meats can last from two to five years, and that it wouldn't make Leo any worse. Despite that I had mostly given him fruit. It was easier to transfer to him.

I heard April sit down, and I could feel her eyes on me. I stabbed the meat with the last spoon and scooped a small chunk out. I held it up to Leo's mouth, hoping he'd respond for once. He did, he sniffed at it, but didn't move to eat it due to his coma state. Sighing gruffly I reluctantly pushed some of the meat into my mouth. Had Leo been awake and this weak he'd feel humiliated by this. I knew I felt a few nerves go off over the fact that April was going to see just how weak my brother was. I chewed with effort, mashing the meat up was much more difficult than it was with the fruit. Once the ham was sufficiently a soft enough lump in my mouth I leaned over my brother. I forced his mouth open and let the mush fall into it. Instinctively he swallowed as it found it's way into his throat.

"So that's how you've been feeding him," April said in surprise. Ignoring her I repeated the process.

"Must make you feel like a mamma bird," she attempted to joke. Ignoring her I repeated the process.

I could hear her sigh in defeat. Ignoring her I repeated the process. I heard her struggle with her can. Ignoring her I repeated the process. My own stomach growled when I heard her take a few bites. Ignoring her and my own body I repeated the process. Then she said something in a low whisper.

"I'm sorry… for hitting you yesterday."

"Me too," I responded. I wasn't sure what I was apologizing for, but it needed to be done nonetheless.

Taking a break from feeding Leo I asked, "You two figure it out?"

"We'll probably just wash up in the sink downstairs."

"How's that work?"

"When one of us cleans up everyone else will stay in here. I mean, we don't want to move Leo, but it'd be awkward if we washed up in this sink only for him to wake up and see us. So doing it down there makes more sense."

"What about clothes?"

"Now that I think about it, there's spares hidden all throughout the house. I probably could've been wearing clean clothes the past few days if I had remembered that."

I nodded, and went back to feeding Leo. Eventually she finished her food and left. When Leo's can was empty I looked to the ground and started counting the tiles. It was the closest thing I could get to meditation. I was never good at meditation before the Kraang invaded the city, now I'm horrible at it. My concentration broke entirely when my brothers and Casey stormed in. I laughed when I saw my brothers covering their noses from being too close to Casey. Unfortunately that got their attention.

Excited Mikey shouted, "While April's busy down there, you're gonna eat up here!"

"...What…?"

It was when Donnie shook the can of uneaten tuna in air I knew I had to escape. Crouching low I ran under their legs, only to have someone be aware enough to grab the tails of my mask. With a sharp yank I was pulled swiftly back into the room. Before I knew it Casey slammed the door shut and Mikey had me in a headlock. I looked up at Donnie as he pulled at the tab of the can and growled.

"Raph, this is for your own good," My purple banded brother tried.

"Up yours!"

Donnie's temper flared for a moment. I could see it in his eyes, but he took a deep breath and spoke again, "C'mon Raph, you haven't eaten all week."

"I've eaten."

Casey jumped in here, "Yeah, one can of peaches, like, three days ago."

I looked at him with what I hoped was my most fierce, hateful glare I'd ever given. Casey being Casey, failed to notice. Donnie finally managed to get the lid open. As he scooped some of the tuna out I struggled against Mikey's grip. Usually I'd be able throw him off without even trying, but for some reason I couldn't manage it. When Donnie tried to spoon feed me I snarled. Using what little leverage I had I pushed my shell closer against Mikey's plastron in an attempt to distance myself from the spoon. When he tried to push the spoon in my face once more I snarled again and made an attempt to kick the offending object. I missed, but my intention of not being humiliated in such a fashion was made clear.

Mumbling Casey said, "Well, the forceful way isn't working."

Finally Donnie snapped, "Why can't you do this one thing!"

Both Casey and Mikey jumped at the outburst. He had been so silent the past couple of days that even I forgot how prone he was to outbursts. I wasn't focused on that however. No, I was enjoying the freedom of standing up straight. Ignoring my younger brother's anger only seemed to make it worse.

"I can't believe you!"

Awkwardly Casey cracked the door open and called down to April, "Hey, Red! You almost done down there?"

In return she shouted, "Yeah, why?"

"Me and Mike are gonna come down is all," he shouted as he grabbed the kid by the arm and led him out of the room.

Leaving me alone with Donnie. An angry, glaring Donnie who was taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm down. My younger brother set the can on the sink as he put his other hand to his forehead in frustration. His eyes went from a glare that could match one of mine, to a pained squinting as he became lost in thought.

Crossing my arms I asked, "Why didn't you eat your food?"

Sputtering at me he shouted, "Oh, and you're just fine?!"

"I am. I don't see what that has to do with it!"

"No, you're not. You haven't eaten in days!"

"A few days without food won't kill me."

"But it'll make you weak, which it has!"

Growling I muttered, "I. Am. Not. WEAK!"

"You couldn't even throw Mikey off!"

By this point we were inches away from each other's faces. He looked down at me with brown eyes, and I looked up at him with my green ones. We were breathing harshly and doing our best to be intimidating. For me, my brothers had never been able to be the intimidator. It had always been me who'd size them up and show them why I shouldn't be messed with. Even despite my smaller height when compared to Leo and Donnie I was still imposing to them. Whereas they had never been able to even make me flinch. Mikey was just too much of a goofball to pull it off, and Donnie could never last very long due to his meekness. Even now his resolve was starting to crumble.

Leo, he had always been the challenge. Unlike the other two, he'd stay mad afterwards. Mikey and Donnie would learn from their mistakes for a time. Be reminded what tended to set me off and avoid that particular subject for several days. After a confrontation with them I'd run off to the surface for a few hours, and when I returned we'd apologize and forgive each other. Not Leo though. When I would try and leave for the surface I'd get up there, that much was certain. The thing that made Leo different was that he'd track me down, confront me, lecture me, or, if I was lucky, talk things out after I cooled down.

With the thought of Leo I broke eye contact. Despite me being the first to do so it was clear by the look on his face that I had won. Walking back over to Leo I looked at him. His chest moved up and down as slowly as it had been the last few days. He continued to look unnaturally frail as he slept. There was one thing that was different, his face. For the most part his sleep had been peaceful, but now his face was scrunched up in an expression I couldn't read. As I put a hand to his head to check his temperature I heard footsteps.

At first I thought Donnie was leaving, but then I heard the sound of shell scraping wood and a loud thump. I looked over at him and my eyes widened. He sat there motionless on the floor. That wasn't the scary part. No, the scary part was that he was sitting upright in a fetal position. His face was buried in his knees and it made it difficult the hear, but I heard it. The muffled sound made it so that my legs moved towards him before I realized what I was doing. For once in a very long time I was looking downwards at Donatello.

"Why are you crying?"

I got nothing but him trying to choke back tears. I crouched down and placed a hand on his head. I asked again, and this time I got an attempt of a response. It was unintelligible, partially because of the sobbing but also because his face was still buried against his knees. I pressed the side of my head against his barely showing forehead to hear better, and asked again. This time I heard him.

"You're killing yourself."

I pulled away in shock. I hadn't been eating much, that was true. I also hadn't slept at all for the first several days, that much was also true. But killing myself? That was an overreaction, to put it simply. But what an over reaction it was. Seeing one of my brothers cry was bad enough, but being the reason for the tears in the first place? It made me want to vomit. I hated feeling guilty over stupid things. I shouldn't feel guilty over this, but each choked back sob only made the feeling spread.

"I'm not killing myself," I insisted, but got no response.

Sighing I offered an ultimatum, "If I eat the stupid fish, will you stop blubbering?"

The way I said it sounded harsh, I knew that. However, it doesn't mean it worked any less than if I had been more tactful. He looked up at me after a few seconds. My tired eyes locked onto his red puffy ones, and my stomach began to churn with guilt again. Finally, after what felt like an eternity he nodded. Quickly I grabbed the small can and shoveled the contents into my mouth, a feat that may have been difficult for a human. I hated fish, but I was willing to do anything to make Donnie look less small. He watched as I chewed the disgusting slop that some humans called "food" and he let out a sigh of relief when I swallowed.

"Better?"

He nodded. When I offered my hand Donnie took it and I pulled him to his feet. He sniffed again and I shook my head. Looping my arm around his shoulder I led him out of the bathroom and to his and Mikey's room. As we walked the short distance I heard Mikey making fun of the hand me down clothes April and Casey were forced to wear. I opened the bedroom door and motioned for him to go in. He only gave me a confused look.

"You're tired, go to bed."

As if realizing I was right Donnie's eyes became half lidded and he nodded slowly before stumbling towards the bed. I walked back to the bathroom but right as I was going to enter April opened her bedroom door. She leaned against the doorway slightly as she rubbed her eyes. I took the few seconds to analyze the dress she was wearing. It had a faded flower design on it. Not only did it look out of place on a tomboy like April but the dress was clearly for an elderly woman, not a teen girl. I blinked a few times as I filed the hilarious image away in my brain. It would be wonderful blackmail for when this mess was all cleaned up.

Tiredly she asked, "Did you two make up?"

"I… think so."

"Do you want me to watch Leo?"

"No, that's my job," I said quickly as I entered the bathroom and closed the door behind me.

Sitting on the stool I continued my vigil, silently praying that I wouldn't receive any more distractions.

* * *

><p>AN: So, if I were forced to choose 2k3 Donnie or 2k12 Donnie I'd pick 2K3 every time, for various reasons. If I was then asked if there was anything about 2k12 Donnie that I liked it would have to be his random outbursts of verbal violence. Usually his character (and the other boys for that matter) is portrayed as being good under pressure. 2K12 Donnie? Not so much… and I love it for some ungodly reason. Anyway, I figured that the outbursts could work as something other than anger.

Also April took such a short time because they basically just have hand soap.

Side note: The formatting on this site kinda bugs me. It'll let me indent certain paragraphs but refuse to let me indent others.


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